Squash is a vegetable. (Stop seething about seed placement on the plant, you biologists, and allow the voice of reason to suggest that your technical definition of “fruit” does not necessarily need to exterminate the common usage of the term “vegetable” as “edible plants that aren’t sweet.” Then consider what our illustrious United States Supreme Court said about the matter in Nix v. Hedden, 149 U.S. 304 (1893) (holding that tomatoes are vegetables for purposes of a federal statute)).

Okay, where was I? Oh, yes. Pumpkins are squash, squash are vegetables, and so eating this pumpkin pie is eating power food. (Stop seething about fat and sugar content, you nutritionists, and… never mind.)


4 large eggs
One 12 oz can evaporated milk
One 15 oz can pumpkin puree
1/3 cup sugar
½ cup dark brown sugar
8 oz cream cheese
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
½ tsp nutmeg
½ tsp allspice
½ tsp salt
unbaked pie crust

For whipped cream:
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup sugar
Whip on high speed until stiff peaks form. (Do not over-whip, or you’ll get a really sweet glop of butter.)


Preheat the oven to 375 ̊ F. Place a rack near the lowest shelf position in the oven. Place another rack on the lowest shelf position (the tray holding the water will go here).

Press an unbaked pie crust into a 9-inch ungreased deep-dish pie pan. Do not prick the crust.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk 4 eggs. Whisk in 12 oz evaporated milk, then do the same with the 15 oz pumpkin puree, the 1/3 cup sugar, and the ½ cup dark brown sugar.

Place the 8 oz of cream cheese into a small bowl, and microwave it until, when you stir it, it’s the consistency of frosting (about 20 seconds on high). Then whisk the melted cream cheese into the pumpkin mixture.

Add the 2 tsps cinnamon, 1 tsp ginger, 1/2 tsp nutmeg, 1/2 tsp allspice, and 1/2 tsp salt. Whisk until well blended.

Pour the filling into the crust.

Pour a handful (maybe up to a cup) of ice cubes on a jellyroll pan. Place the jellyroll pan on the bottom rack of the over. (This makes steam in the oven.)

Place the unbaked pie on the other over rack (the one that’s above the water bath but lower than the middle of the oven). Bake for 70 minutes. Ways to tell if it’s done: If you gently shake the pie, the insides will hardly move at all; if you were to insert a knife into the middle, the knife would come out clean–but then you’ll have a split in the top of your pie, so you might not want to do this method if you’re worried about presentation.

Turn off the heat, crack the oven, and let the pie cool to room temperature. (This seems to stop the top of the pie from splitting.)

This pie is especially delicious when warm, but should still be allowed to cool for at least 15 minutes before slicing. Serve with whipped cream.